Where Have We Grown?

Where have we grown?

Expectant eyes ask, squinting into a fading blue horizon,

Watching dreams sail into nights of warm hearts, where hurting is quelled,

There, from the treetops of my youth they sprouted,

Leaving wet footprints in the pages of books, as they found me,

Grew with me, touched my shoulder like fairies in sky blue dresses,

Opening doors to the winds that change without warning,

Warning, don’t stay, they gave me these words,

That try hopelessly to describe how I feel without feelings,

Fearless like a defiant girl with pigtails and a slashing ruby smile,

Daring a chaotic world to calm down calmer still into the calmness,

Of her being, lapses in creativity take me back there,

An empty room brimming with blind lunatics,

Studying the therapies of colouring inner worlds, seeing inverted,

If only I knew then that seagulls glide with broken wings,

Ghosting each other like shadows in the heavens,

Cutting the perfect swath through roiling clouds,

Then perfect smiles would be forever imprinted,

Like the glint of an eye or throaty laughter,

Sending golden ripples through the first layer of my skin,

That Machiavellian veneer, a bloodied gate,

Guarded by sentinels with gilded axes,

Where did I go?

Hidden under the bridge to the land of The Most,

That place where ideals are married to hopes – that place

Just a stone throw further from what I ever wanted, greener still,

I do not admit what I know if I haven’t yet asked the right question,

Held charily onto this stir like it was an egg of a honey sucker,

And I had the hands of a shy clumsy giant, grasping without sight,

Tripping over my own airs just to pretend I am not alone,

Not a story without a storyteller or friend without foe,

Where I am from, they do not stare,

They do not eat what they cannot kill, only love what bleeds,

Drinking from it what gives joy to thirst,

Delight to hunger,

But how could she know?

I’ve prowled the perimeters of a desert brown surface,

With feline obsession that steels my resolve, a hunter with a kiss,

Those shoulders when bare give coolness to my brashness,

A chill up my spine, I slash away feverishly at the obscenity of it all,

I fall from the dizzy heights of her stature as I prey,

A head full of fear, like a head full of snakes,

Turning me to stone with one look of a War Goddess,

I crumble at her feet and eat my words…

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