Looking Back In Time

The Flavour of Love (10th December 2009)

For no apparent reason on my way to work today all I could think about was the colour of love, or more specifically the colour of my love. I not only considered the actual colour of my love but the flavour of it too, its essence, its taste and its effects. I know in the most general terms love is considered to be red, maroon, mauve, pink, purple, magenta, crimson, vermillion, violet or some other variation of these colours. I think it is mostly the dull minded who lack creativity who would consider the colour of love to be one, or a variation, of these colours. I would like to believe that love is not limited to any one definition or experience and therefore the colour of love can be as varied as the plants of the planet or the sands of the universe or the spirits of the galaxy.

I think the colour of my love is something dark brooding brown, enchantingly solid, thick with the seriousness of itself, undoubtedly and candidly  there, yet remaining mysterious enough to invite even those who don’t believe. It has a richness to it that is of the most natural and nurtured type, that yearns to spread that richness to all that it comes in contact with. It is strong and ever lasting yet it is not fixed because it changes in cycles like the seasons of the planet. At times it changes from its dark brown shade to a much lighter variation until it at times becomes greener, with the lushness of growth and expansion. When it is green it can be anything from bright lime at times of rejoicing to khaki green at times of consoling and even to jade when my own internal beauty is recognised.

Then of course throughout its expression my love has a hint of orange that shines as streaks and other times appears as dots, all the while giving off a radiance in a sense of its own humble pride. These three colours, brown green and orange, are of course just the main colours since they are so dear to me. The truth is I suppose on any given experience of love other colours I have not mentioned become dominant in my expression of love. It changes from partner to partner from experience to experience, all the while remaining true to its fullest expression. I learn I weep I grow I love…



At night I close my eyes and hold my breath

Trapped in love’s ways as I ruminate on days left,

Between now, the hereafter and the many other careless hours spent,

Seeking through the silence that respect from everyone else

When all that really mattered is you and how you’ve felt,

Since the beginning when we dreamed, till now when all resistance melts,

We have presented our best even when vagueness spoke

And shrouded us in impossible fears like a dark satin cloak,

Trying to taint the beauty, which we have created against the odd glares of most,

Lying in my bed alone like a single rose in a vase

I smile insanely like looking in a mirror and seeing no face,

For I know that you are but a heart beat away, perched in my special place,

Far from the depraved shapes of societies envy

And even further from my own old habits that try to take me,

Yet close to all that is me, both good and bad, as you make me carefree,

With a feeling that will always be like copious colour

Seen through the ravenous eyes of an unashamed lover,

I am touched by your abundance, purely charmed as I choke with wonder,

At how you can be like a perfect summer of sun and rain

Dancing along the heart’s extremities and yet never looking to blame,

Just being you, within this world, making sure each day is never the same,

Nursing the pains of your children your family and those who care

At times I seek pardon from the universe as I learn how to share,

Releasing what is dear to me, your individuality and wholeness, always there,

For I want for you to see what I see in you

The intellect of a wizard and passion so true,

That could achieve anything impossible, including changing the seasons on cue,

My love, you imbue me with the will to meaning

The ability to find diamonds where once there was bleeding,

That power of supreme reasoning, backed by self belief that is eternally redeeming,

All memories are worth keeping now that you have entered my life

There is balance in my paradise created through strife,

As I finally learn how to love and laugh, and also look forward to our next fight.



If I could close my eyes and try to stop all my thoughts

I would hope that my mind would become filled with images of you,

Of all that I have not yet seen, still to be revealed like a fresh spring secret

And all that I have seen, so captivating it makes me forget everything I ever knew,

I’ve seen you in many guises, none of which reveal more than they should

And I have felt within you, something that pulsates within the pleasure of itself,

Content within the dazzling shadows of many dancing figures, holding together

The allure of a woman, with the definitiveness of all the god’s wealth,

The tantalising authority of even your slightest movement

Puts fools in harms way for desiring that which they do not understand,

And makes wise men abandon everything, including reason

Just so they may give in to the torturous pleasure of your command,

With brazen feline composure you watch the world as it watches you

Daring the curious to follow the path to infinite possibilities,

Without promise, without a care, just following a craving

Your constantly testing dualities make us blind to the likely probabilities,

If my life were to end and I were allowed only one pure memory

I would hope it would be of that moment when we shared our very first kiss,

For without caveat I was absorbed into the folds of a magnificent fantasy

Bound to reality only by the smoothness of your skin and the scent from your lips,

Your manifest beauty keeps my senses firmly in this world

Screaming at an outrageous intensity as they work to their full potential,

While my inner faculties, which extend beyond the tangible

Are discourteously reminded that love among free spirits is chaste and elemental,

I was found by your virtue in a place where darkness knows no end

Where hollow voices of my own creation echoed against each other’s turpitude,

Raging incessantly against my efforts to mend the pieces of a broken heart

Lost between the line that separates a beggar’s loneliness from a monk’s solitude,

But now something has been restored that quells my ancient spirit

Something so vital and of a nature so obliquely abstract,

It makes me feel whole, in a peculiar way that I have forgotten

Like glaring into a looking glass after a battle and realising I am still intact,

Alive with a need to clasp you selfishly to where I’m most tender

And share with you all that I am, in my most gentle splendour,

I only dream of looking deeper into your eyes right in the centre

Where many delightful mysteries wait for me to enter…

I Walk A Path of Infinite Options


I walk a path of infinite options

With a heart, a life and a dream that create many problems,

I light the fires that compete with the moons envious glare

Looking for an artisan with an unparalleled trade to compare,

To feel, to wish, to find, to share

A glimpse into the possibility that life could be fair,

All that I see upon my journey true

Looks back at me with the wise eyes of a few,

If ever I knew the answers to the unasked questions

Then my glory would be lost in me vainly mirroring the reflections,

Hardened whispers scratch my soul and let me remember

That to blame myself would be stupidly clever,

I am at fault when I veil the obvious lessons

And grasp at ignorance in an attempt to double count my blessings,

I am at the mercy of my own naïve menace

That seeks to purify me without repentance,

With no worldly acceptance

I continue to tred in my own direction…


The Hands of God

It must be an act of mercy that I cannot see her eyes, wet with grief, like pools of see through blood,

It must be an act of the divine that sometimes there are no lies, just what seems, precariously elusive to the touch,

Her world is in turmoil I can hear the rain drops thud

And if I were a god I would prevent it from such,

But men of my size cannot bend the silver fabric of time

Governed by love I relinquish what’s mine…

There is a way to things that boggles the mind, twisting the soul, emptying the heart and killing fear,

There is a way that brings all of human kind, through hurt and pain, together on a line that isn’t always clear,

Each one alone like a single hope in a sphere

Exposed to the unknown like a lighthouse on an old pier,

They swim in gloomy seas with brave faces and no smiles

In danger of becoming heroes who may never again see the sun shine…

Some choose their fate with mustard seed faith, plunging blindly beyond the rims of reality,

Some choose too late in an attempt to make haste, falling into the trappings of a self-defeating mentality,

Either way we are all in this together

 Like one big family

Watching the reels of life fading away


If it wasn’t for her, so enthusiastic and mature, the world would be plain, meaningless, devoid of substance,

If it wasn’t for her, so meticulous and sure, I would be in pain, ridiculous, spoilt by abundance,

For she compels me to share out of fear of the repercussions

Whether I’m good or bad she makes no assumptions…

Let me bear her agony for I have endured the pits

At the very worst of times,

Let me bear her agony for I am a vagabond

Who is full of many lines

I could talk the angels out of the skies

If only they would just let her smile,

 And once in a while,

Let her know it is okay to cry…

I Walk With A Face

I walk with a face,

I face with a look

I see with a mind

divided by perspectives,

There is beauty of a kind,

 that makes me kind for a while


always reminding me that all is connected,

I am chosen by each moment,

 for a moment you’ll understand

 For now is forever more glorious than promise itself,

All feelings are sound,

like the sound of nothingness


giving the impression that infinite possibilities could be felt,

The colours are amazing,

 a maze is a strange thing

I lose myself during the day in absolute awe,

Basking in the munificent light,

 light as an atom

I am the creation with a name you cannot call,

In an African night,

an African knight

dreams of his fairytale lover with the permission of Ururu,

Believing in what he has not seen,

in scenes too surreal

knowing that it will all come together


like the threads of ubuntu,

For his love will never cease,

 like the seas overly keen

Strong with emotion

 that makes the world

 go on and on and on,

Life plays out on a reel,

 no less real

than a picture

And I feel myself floating along,

like a song finding everywhere to belong.

Earth Shattering Discovery

Unlocking amusing

dimensions with the touch of my fingertips,

The world

is discovered from the placating chaos of unrest,

Feverishly obsessed with the very words


from my lips,


I am the finder of thousands of cherished sins you will not confess,

My spirit, my bones,

the earth and its hallowed fibs,


the force that controls the wickedness

 that marks the test,

Growth is when man is born from a woman’s spare ribs

and with no more conjecture

 he starts to believe that he is worth less,

a mess,

a universe

strung backwards

with yarn made from moist coal dust

And what of lust?

Wanderlust the precursor to broken trust…

Found deep below the crust of a world worried with fuss

infidels must be responsible for erasing the steps of Jesus,

For in His absence increases the proliferation

of authorless theses,

during the next reign, in the rain season

a dungeon keeper…

with a heart of stone

becomes the hope for those

living alone

in a crimson world where memories fade

darkness has no refuge for the brave

or the damned, but still they prey…pray…