Love Me Like My Mother

I do not think that a man should ever be foolish enough to believe
that one day he will find a love that will be greater than or rival the love
that they receive from their own mother. I think this is as true for a man as
it is for a woman, since there is nothing that compares to a mother’s love in
all the universe.

Unfortunately I think most people are unaware of this, or if
they are they choose to ignore it, when it comes to seeking out a partner to
share a life with and that in the end leads to unnecessary hurt and
disappointment.

Well what exactly is it about a mother’s love that sets it apart
from all other types of love? Well, for one a mother’s love never diminishes or
changes and stays just as intent as it always was, if not a little bit wiser
with age.

No matter what one may become or fail to become, no matter how things
turn out and no matter what you decide to do with your life, your own mother’s
accepting love can be relied on to accept you under any and every circumstance.
So strong is a mother’s love that at times it almost seems like it doesn’t have
to be earned as if your mother will continue to love you even if you do not reciprocate
that love.

For a mother’s love is unstated and yet felt ten times as strongly
as any other kind of love out there, and for that reason perhaps it is so easy
to take for granted.

That same strong motherly love raises us men to be confident and
daring, and ready to discover the world and create what we will. A mother’s
love is so strong and wise that it accepts that it will nurture and raise young
boys into men who will one day want to spend as little time in the home that
cared for them, since their destiny is to start a family of their own.

In seeking out families of our own I think we men sometimes forget that the ones
we shall fall for are far from being anything like our mothers and the love
they offer is of a different kind altogether. The first mistake we make is to
believe that the love from a lover will be unconditional and will accept us as
we are at all stages of our lives.

We live our lives in relationships thinking that our partners will
always care for us the same way they did when they first fell for us but this
is just an illusion. As a man you have to accept that to a woman you will
always represent a specific concept, whether that be safety, stability, support
or refuge.

This means that while the woman might like or enjoy your personality
or who you think you are there are many things about you that also make her
want to share an existence with you and you may not be aware of these things
all the time.

Realising this makes you understand why it is that you cannot
keep crying to your woman about the things that do not go right in your life,
because that is what you are there for in her life. Perhaps she will allow you
to do it once, perhaps she may allow you to do it twice. But once you do it a
third time she will find a clear way to let you know that that is not how
things operate and you need to learn to suck it up.

In the same way a smart man quickly learns never to try reason with
a woman who is in an emotional state. Never try make her see that she is
overreacting or needs to calm down. Instead a good man should take his woman
seriously and feel what she is feeling and let her get it all out of her
system.

Do not for one second let her know that you do not understand what she
is feeling or that you think she is reacting to something silly. At the same
time do not let her know that half the time you do not know why she gets so
worked up. Just pretend pretend pretend and for the love of God do not let her
know you are pretending. Any other reaction will just be asking for trouble and
will take you on the fast road to men’s hell.

Falling in love with a woman you intend to spend the rest of your
life with is hard work and one should accept that before they go seeking out a
life partner. Foolishly believing that that initial spark will get you through
the worst of times is inadvisable because it is only commitment and dedication
that will get you through.

Unlike a mother’s love, a lover’s love cannot be
taken for granted and sooner or later it will demand a strong reaction from
you. That’s why these days I care very little for the romantic love that seemed
to be the driving force for so many years of my life. I have come to believe
that it takes a whole lot more than just that to keep two people together and
knowing what I intend on giving in a relationship makes things easier rather
than focusing on what I will be receiving in the relationship…

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9 responses to “Love Me Like My Mother

  1. I understand the desire for unconditional love and it can happen, paired with romantic love – it’s what creates the meaning of true love for the heart and the soul….it can happen, don’t settle for one or the other, both are very possible and true. But i understnad your need to seperate them. I have done the same in the past, thought I had to settle for one or the other, but this present will transform its self when the timeing is just right. Hold on to the romance as well as the unconditional love. It is possible, believe.

    • That is encouraging. I think believing is the only way now as experience and what I see around me try convince me otherwise. It is true what you say that I have been trying to separate the two when I shouldn’t be. I will let time and belief come together to bring me what my heart truly desires.

  2. I’m glad your are encouraged and are believing. Those fears have no place in love. Although we have all been hurt before and feel our past and witness our surroundings falling through day to day — you must remember that THEY let fear in or, they simply settled in the first place and/or didn’t try hard enough with the one they knew was true.

    Trusting in others words is very important especially in a relationship, if that trust is broken–its hard to regain it again. Believe what you are being told, b/c it is the truth.

  3. “Realising this makes you understand why it is that you cannot
    keep crying to your woman about the things that do not go right in your life,
    because that is what you are there for in her life. Perhaps she will allow you
    to do it once, perhaps she may allow you to do it twice. But once you do it a
    third time she will find a clear way to let you know that that is not how
    things operate and you need to learn to suck it up.”

    I have one thing to say about this: don’t hide those emotions. When you don’t cry infront of her, she will see someone who is not truely you. You need to let it out….she will love you more for this..she will feel more comfortable around you when she needs to let it out. She will see you as a real person, who loves, needs and wants…that is what being human is all about. To be able to cry to your partner is something very very magical, enduring and creates a special bond between the two of you. You hide your feelings to the world, b/c that is what society tells us to do, but when you come home to your love, the one who loves you unconditionally — you need to let it out…that is why you are together no? To experience lifes beauty, winnings and losses….the heartbreak of the day needs to be shared with one another. Do not hide your feelings my friend, the good or the bad…they must be shared by both. That is what true love is, do not be afraid to let the tears flow when the soul needs replenishing, it’s much better to cry with company who love you, who can hold you and kiss the tears away, than to cry by yourself, in the dark.

    • Such warm and encouraging words. I guess I really need to hear them as I do not find it easy to cry in front of my current partner due to bad reactions from past partners. I know one should learn to let go of past hurt and not base present and future relationships on past ones, but experience begs that you don’t make the same mistakes. I try my best to be open to the one I love most. Thank you for helping me believe that not all women see a crying man as weak.

      • A crying man is a strong man, it shows he can be vulnerable and hurt, (like humans occassionally do) We are human, man and woman, we both need to cry and it’s only in the arms of your love that can truely bring the two closer, more attuned to the other’s desires, fears and understanding.

        I know in my personal life, if I feel like the man cannot cry infront of me, I hold my own self back from showing my emotions and holding in those emotions brings resentment towards that person that acts as if my feelings do not matter (as well as his). When you act yourself, cry when you need too and release the bad — it shows the lover in your life that is in deed safe to cry and be herself around you. To hold back is such a tragedy….I’m sure she has at one point or another wanted to be held by her love and just cry and release, but held those emotions in because she was acting as he acts. True love will love you in good times and in bad, with tears and all.

        Good luck being a man, because men cry too…..its a man that unleashes his saddness and shares it, a boy is the one who holds it all in….and then reacts in inappropriate, childish ways.

      • also note that your past relationship prob has her own emotional problems of her own, and probably in her past she was told not to cry either…to suck it up and be a woman…how sad it is to be told by a lover to not cry….it’s simply telling them, “don’t be yourself in front of me” that is such a sad, sad way to live with someone. Just know not all women are the same, and the ones that have a good head on their shoulders know that crying is a good thing, it should not be held in either by a man or a woman. A good woman will comfort and bring happiness back into your life.

  4. I hear you. I guess the partner you are with makes all the difference as some will react well while others might make you feel a little silly. I will remember your words the next time I feel the river bursting in front of my partner…

    • I’m glad to hear your wisdom, now go have a good cry with your partner..(of course, whenever the time comes or the emotions begin to arise) .I’m sure she needs one as well. 😉

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